


Hot Grapes

by StrawhatsAndDelibirds



Series: Modern verse [7]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21846259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawhatsAndDelibirds/pseuds/StrawhatsAndDelibirds
Summary: Some people just can't have nice things
Series: Modern verse [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571110
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not microwave things that are not meant for the microwave. Like juice boxes. Juice boxes can fuck up your entire scene.

Ace had just barely gotten home and to sleep. It was late, and on work nights like this, he found it hard to care enough to put on pyjamas. There were things he could probably be doing, but right now they were tomorrow Ace’s problem. 

Mere moments passed, before he could hear a voice shaking him awake. He was confused, because last he checked they were all adults in this house. He felt like he’d remember if he was back to being ten years old and having his annoying kid brother climb into his bunk to bother him. 

The same way he did when they were little, Luffy was in his bed and shaking him. Except for now they were both full grown men, and Ace unfortunately had more self control. That being said, every shake was testing it. 

“Whaaaaaaat do you want.” He groaned, covering his face. There was still time to deck him and tell him to fuck off. He was his brother, he’d always make time to deck him and tell him to fuck off. 

“How come people don’t eat hot fruit.” God this was exactly why Ace loved having his own room. The whole point of having his own room was so that he didn’t have to deal with stuff like this. Or at least so he didn’t have to deal with it as much, seeing as how he was in here right now to ruin his night. 

“Pie. Good. Night.” He rolled over. Hopefully that would be enough for Luffy, and he’d fuck off back to his room. Or fall back asleep. Ace wasn’t too picky at this point. 

“Pie doesn’t count that’s cooked not hot.” Luffy said, climbing over him so he couldn’t turn away. Why could things never be easy. 

“What do you mean it’s not hot. How is cooking it different than making it hot? It’s the same fucking thing,” 

“But it’s not! Cooking means you’re doing something other that getting it hot. Like you’re adding something to it.”

“People grill watermelon.” There. That wasn’t cooking. It fit Luffy’s definition so he was freed. 

“Not watermelon.” God damn it. “Like making it hot like in the microwave.”

“So you’re asking me why people don’t microwave fruit. Was microwave the word you wanted.” He couldn’t even get a lock on his door. The little fucker could pick locks, and not to mention he’d probably be crawling around in the air vents to get to him if he couldn’t. 

“Yeah.” Being fluent in Luffy was such a useless skill. He was lucky he loved him or else he wouldn’t dedicate a section of his brain for deciphering this bullshit. 

“Probably cause it takes longer and fruit is a quick thing.” There was silence as Luffy took in this information. There, he had solved the riddle. Now would he be allowed to get to sleep? 

Ace got his answer in actions rather than words, as Luffy grabbed him by surprise and by the wrist as he dragged him out of bed down the hall. Ace didn’t bother to fight it. He didn’t have the energy right now to deal with this bullshit.

“Let’s see what Sabo thinks. He’s the smart brother.” Luffy beamed, as if he wasn’t being an antagonizing asshole who was going to die by his hands later. 

“If he’s the smart brother, then why didn’t you start with him?” He loved Sabo, but Sabo had been home all evening as Ace was at work. It didn’t seem fair that he had to deal with this after a long day’s work. 

“Cause I needed a good jumping off point.” So he was definitely going to beat him to death. 

Entering Sabo’s room, Ace was left in the doorway like a forgotten doll. It somehow made him feel a little better seeing Sabo be pounced on by Luffy. They might both be up now, but at least he’s no longer alone in his suffering. The noise that Sabo made did make him feel a little bad. It looked like he had landed on his stomach. 

“Sabo wake up! I got a question to ask!” It was never fun being the second one woken up. Ace always got so caught up in being stuck being the first one up that he never thought about how rough the second person had it. They had riled up Luffy to wake them up. Maybe it was a good thing that Sabo was second. Sabo was never so quick to swing when it was Luffy. Ace couldn’t say the same about himself. 

“Ughf, what?” Sabo incoherently grumbled as he sat up. He was a seasoned veteren of being woken up second. It was almost expected he rolled with the punches so well. 

“How come we don’t eat hot fruit? Is it cause of the microwave takes too long?” Luffy questioned. Sabo stared on in confusion. If he was truly the smartest brother, he’d say yes so they could all go to bed. Hopefully this was just him pretending to think it over. 

“I think it might be because a lot of them explode in the microwave.” Ace wasn’t actually sure if that made him smart, or dumb. Because now they were going to have to microwave some fruit, but they were not going to be going back to bed soon. But there might be tiny fruit explosions. 

The room was filled with silence at the possibilities that had been laid before them. Because fruit exploding was almost certainly a thing. And now that it had been brought to their attention, it was hard to not think about it. 

Now Ace was thinking about all the different fruit they had in their house. He couldn’t say they were usually huge fans of fruit, but they probably had something. That being said, odds were pretty high that they were going to have to go out and get something. 

He took it back, they’d one hundred percent have to go out and buy fruit. None of them were going to sleep until they got answers, or a satisfying amount of fruit explosions. Hopefully whatever twenty four hour place that was open had good options of fruit. 

At the very least, the good news was that Ace didn’t have anywhere to be tomorrow and could sleep in. Because he sure as shit wasn’t going to be getting any sleep tonight. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

It was the middle of the night, and Zoro was coming back from the bathroom. He wasn’t exactly fully awake, but he was aware of his surroundings enough to hear someone knocking at their door. Walking towards the door, he poked his head into the kitchen so he could read the time on the stove. 

4:02.

Who the fuck was trying to get into his house at four in the goddamn morning? No one was supposed to, given the fact the Zoro would have been told if they were going to have visiters in the middle of the fucking night. Whoever it was must not’ve known that both occupants of this apartment had no issue telling people to fuck entirely off. He didn’t get a text that he was aware of, so he was going to assume that this was someone who had no business waking him up at this hour. 

He flicked on the entrance way lights and opened the door to some unfortunately familiar faces. It was Luffy and his brothers, with light amounts of fire extinguisher foam on them. They smelt like burnt shit, and it seemed like they had had a busy night. 

“We were microwaving fruit and found out you can’t microwave juice boxes. The juice box is the natural enemy of the microwave.” Luffy explained with the confidence of someone who just destroyed something entirely, walking in. His brothers stayed in the hall. They already knew things that passed for Luffy didn’t transfer over to others. It would be weird if they didn’t considering they’ve basically known him his whole life. 

“So our microwave caught fire, and we had to put it out. And now our entire apartment is compromised by the stench of juice and also microwave smoke. May we spend the night here?” Ace asked. Sabo and Ace weren’t really that big of bothers, aside from maybe eating all the food in the fridge, so it wasn’t that big a deal. 

The only real concern in all this was Luffy, who had no qualms climbing into beds that weren’t his. Zoro and Sanji may not be fucking tonight, but that didn’t change the fact that they didn’t always appreciate having bed visiters in the middle of the night. He had his brothers here, so maybe that would change something. 

Not that it mattered. Luffy had already come inside and no doubt made himself comfy. Zoro shrugged and held the door open for them.

“Sure. Why not.” 

“Thank you.” Luffy’s brothers said as they made themselves comfortable on the couch in a pile. They looked like they had that all sorted out, so he was going to go back to bed. Before he fell asleep, it’d probably be a good idea to let Sanji know so he didn’t trip over anyone on the way to make coffee in the morning.

He’d give Sanji a light nudge as he got into bed to jostle him awake. Sanji rolled over and gave him an evil look. Zoro had seen it before, it couldn’t hurt him. 

“Luffy and his brothers fucked up their place so they’re staying here for the night.” That felt like a job well done to him. 

“How the fuck did they fuck up their place.” 

“They microwaved fruit and juice or whatever. It was stupid either way.” He wasn’t exactly sure why it mattered. They didn’t bring anything with them so there was nothing to worry about. 

“How did they fuck it up?” Why can’t he just let this go and go to sleep? It was late and he could ask them in the morning.

“Something about a fire, and how their place was filled with smoke. I didn’t ask for details about it.” He wasn’t invested in it. That was their own problem. 

“And you just let them into our house?” Sanji scoffed at him all annoyed. Zoro wasn’t exactly sure what his problem was. 

He was even less clear as he got out of the bed and left the room. If he were to guess, Zoro'd probably say that he left to set some very strict ground rules. It wasn’t going to work and three on one didn’t always work against Luffy, because he had no sense of self preservation. Only spite. 

But the more Zoro thought about how they had messed up, he was starting to find himself invested in it. He had never really put much thought into fruit. Most of his cooking was microwave based, as most his meals were already ready made. He hadn’t exactly considered the limits of the machine.

Zoro was certainly no stranger to accidentally blowing things up in the microwave. He had eaten many a pizza pocket that had exploded on him. He also listened to many different foods crackle in the microwave, so who really knew what fruit could do. 

His musings were cut short as Sanji entered the room, barely managing to drag in the microwave. He’d put it down in the corner, and flop back into the bed. He needed a moment to catch his breath. Zoro had to wonder if it was because of the microwave, or if he was just yelling at those clowns in the living room so hard that he was out of breath. It was Sanji, so who knew. It could be both.

“I can’t believe you’d leave them alone with our microwave. After what they did tonight.” Sanji scolded as his breathing returned to normal. 

“They’re adults, they can be trusted.” And also it was something you could trust a child to handle. They had them in their school when they were in elementary. 

“Well clearly they can’t, because they can’t be trusted to not blow it up. Because they did that to their own.”

“I’m pretty sure they’re done for the night. I think they just need a place to sleep.” Usually things simmered down after that point. Anything post fire was usually a bit more relaxed, because people were worried about making more fire. 

“You know that I’m not taking that chance, right?” He was just cranky cause he had to wake him up for this. Which was completely understandable, but did not make him immune. 

“So which fruits do you think explode in the microwave?”


	3. Chapter 3

Usopp had heard a commotion out in his living room. Seeing as he was the only one who lived there, he had some options for what it could potentially be. He had robbers, raccoons, ghosts, robber raccoons, ghost robbers, ghost raccoons, and robber raccoon ghosts. Out of those seven, only one was probable, but he wasn’t going to risk any of it. 

Carefully, he’d walk down the hall towards the sound. If he had been smarter, he would’ve armed himself before he did this. Now he had to focus on the raw power that he possessed, and hoped that whatever was in his living room right now was not in the mood for murder, or any such thing. 

Jumping out into a Karate stance and turning on the lights, he managed to blind the four intruders. If they were bandits, they did an incredible job looking like Zoro, Luffy, and his brothers. Unfortunately, it seemed as though they had congregated in his living room for whatever reason.

“We got kicked out of Zoro’s place.” Yep, this was definitely them. 

When things like this occurred, there were options on what to do. You could either choose to confront it like a man, or confront it in the morning. 

“Nope.” He said, heading back into his room. This was going to be his problem later. Hopefully that later was not also 4:32 in the morning. 

Not that it mattered, as that was a problem for later. 


End file.
